YOUR YESTERDAYS WILL REPEAT

(C) 2011 Howard McQueen

Yesterday afternoon I crawled into bed

 feeling like all my friends and family had died.

Not quite knowing it, I came to realize

that I felt, deeply, situationally depressed.

I felt this in my eyes,

as a deeply draining vacuum,

sucking the life out of my vision for a future,

without any room or possibility

for any joie de vivre.

Back into this moment,

this time around

the inner voice of intuition asks of me

  "when have you ever felt like this (before)?"

And the answer within returns

 "About ten years ago, 

  when my wife, at-that-time

  was diagnosed as clinically depressed

  and I followed suit and became situationally depressed."

Like cloudy weather,

circumstances in our life are bound and determined to repeat,

offering us the opportunity to intentionally make a choice.

Do we follow at the beck and call of surface circumstances?

I choose to get out of bed and make myself a cup of caffeinated chai.

As I walk past my now current wife,

who had fifteen minutes ago, with a worried look, tucked me into bed,

she asks

  "What was it contributed to your abrupt about-face and turn-around?"

We both talk through all the stressor-triggers

currently running within our life circumstances,

and we realize these for what they really are - just surface conditions.

We both agree to work through what lie underneath these

and know that life will flow on

and our love will grow,

and deepen,

as these surface conditions shift and change and dissove

and fall away.