Asheville Sangha

Supporting Non-Duality and Awakening in Asheville and Beyond

​Have you ever made what you thought was a bad decision? If you think so, then you've probably experienced the frustration of things not working out the way you had hoped they would. However, I would like for you to ponder this: What if there is no such thing as a bad decision? What if there are only decisions? What if i​​t’s impossible to make a mistake in this life? What would happen to this frustration if you dropped the belief that mistakes are possible? Is the idea that things could or should be different than they are actually at the root of frustration?


Each and every move we take has a different set of possible outcomes. We do our best to make the “right” move, but when we decide outcomes are “bad” then we look at what led to them as a mistake, either on our part or the part of others. We will then either seek to blame ourselves or others for unpleasant circumstances. However, from my experience, every apparent “bad” situation always has positive repercussions. It may take a little while for the benefits to be shown, but I can always find several positive outcomes that were brought about by a seemingly negative situation.


This may seem like a “rose colored glasses” approach to viewing life, but I have been in a number of seemingly hopeless situations, and I have seen how life always works out in my favor despite what may seem hopeless. Having been tested over and over again with challenging situations, I have learned to see every circumstance as an opportunity for growth. The gift of stressful situations is in the opportunity to go beyond our beliefs about what should or shouldn’t be. If we operate from the perspective that mistakes are not actually possible, then it frees us to act from a place of fearlessness and integrity, knowing that the outcome will be for our benefit, even if it seems challenging at first. It also alleviates the burden of thinking we know what’s best for us and reduces our attachment to certain outcomes.


When I find myself in a situation where something I did or said seemed to cause someone else distress, I own my role in that and try to see the situation from the other person’s perspective. It’s important to know that their distress is not ultimately caused by us but by their own beliefs on how things should be. But it’s also important not to dismiss the feelings of others, and instead look for the truth in any accusations or blame that comes our way. We gain insights into ourselves and others when we can welcome their criticisms instead of defending against them. The key is not to get caught in judging ourselves negatively because someone else blames us for their frustration. Instead, we can recognize that we did the best we could do, and we did it perfectly. A friend of mine once told me, “You can’t do it wrong, you can only do it Trey.” You could also say that the only mistake is the belief that mistakes are possible.


When we cease to believe in mistakes, challenges can be welcomed as part of what’s necessary for our personal growth, and things can be seen as unfolding in our favor. When the burden of self-doubt and the fear of doing something “wrong” is lifted, each moment is perfectly fine no matter what happens. The past and present are accepted as part of what could not have been avoided, and the present is experienced as one welcome occurrence after another. We can then realize that we are always living in a happy ending that never ends.

I invite you to see what it’s like to release the idea that you, or someone else, could make a mistake. See what happens when you stop labeling things as good and bad. Things always are as they are and nothing anyone can do will change that. Only one thing can be changed and that’s how you see things. Could it be that our happiness is a belief away?

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Comment by Janis Abrams on June 11, 2018 at 6:41pm

Hi Trey,

What a perfect message and so appropriate for me as I received your email about your walking in nature gathering today. I continue to think about the mistake I made way back that I didn't wait on a possible rental in Arden a couple of years ago. I thought if I had taken the rental I would be joining you on your walk. However, I have in the past said to myself, but I'm stilling learning and working through life lessons even if I'm still in New York. I still have hopes that I will be coming down in the Fall to look for a place to live and take a shaman workshop. Blessings to you. Janis Abrams

Comment by Trey Carland on June 15, 2018 at 4:45pm

Thank you, Janis. Let me know when you plan to visit and if you need assistance finding a place to stay. I look forward to meeting you :)


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