DIETING (NOT BINGING) ON NOURISHING SEX

c) 2009 Howard McQueen

A special diet-conscious potluck lunch was enjoyed by four of us the other day.

- home made chicken and vegetable soup
- Caesar salad (dressing optional, romaine with a drizzling of balsamic reduction for those observing a cheese-free diet)
- gluten-free baked crackers

Two of the four at lunch had returned from their their ten day shamanic cleansing rituals. A new member to the luncheon group opened up conversation around the practices of Tantric sex, as well as polyamory.

The opening discussion ranged anywhere from how do we treat our body sacredly, ingesting nourishment, to healing remedies that are, on occasion, needed to flush out toxins and stuck emotional energies.

We then each offered up our own personal examples of how groups of individuals can choose to participate in the nourishment of intimacy. These practices ranged from participating in puppy piles, gathering in circles and singing campfire songs, playing music together, devotional singing and chanting, line dancing and the list goes on and on and on (perhaps you care to share your example?).

We then slipped into a conversation centered around sacred sex and the practices of engaging in sex for pleasure, intimacy and to even provoke healing. Tantric sex, from the male perspective, involves holding and re-circulating the heightened chi. This is accomplished by the male being aroused up to the edge of orgasm/ejaculation, and then relaxing so that ejaculation does not occur. Instead, the pent up masculine energies are flooded through the energy body to provide nourishment and healing to the entire being.

Our new addition to the lunch group spoke confidently about his migration to polyamory. One of the introductory exercises he cited in a polyamory gathering deals with building muscles in boundary setting. Each person was to mingle amongst the group (upwards of 150 people) and make sure that they were able to say "No" to at least three individuals. The idea was to activate and engage the no response that might have atrophied in some participants. This was followed by talking about the experiences, then making sure that everyone was very clear that asking for and receiving permission is a critical element in building trust.

I know a number of folks that admittedly adhere to serial monogamy relationship, i.e. one lover-at-a-time over their life span. This is their current comfort zone.

When I imagine being engaged with several lovers at a time (and at the same time), and to bring a conscious capacity to engage each and all in conscious intimacy, uncertainty and mild anxiety arises within my body.

I remember (Ha! you might exclaim) the early 1970s as a period when lots of folks were experimenting with sexuality (bi-sexuality, group sex, tantric sex). There were always a variety of drugs around then as well, so pure consciousness states were often covered over with recreational and altered experience states. This was also the time that Federico Fellini was directing a number of masterful films that explored the inner psyche of man (Jungian psychology) and the erotica of sexuality. These movies are highly recommended for anyone wanting to widen their interests relating to human sexuality. Just participating in watching the movies will stir sensations and feelings inside you.

For example:

Amarcord (1973)
Casanova (1976)
City of Women (1980)
Satyricon (1969)

I've just updated my Netflix Queue ;-) !

In my opinion, seek the counsel of your inner self before you launch off into a radical departure from what has been your established sexual comfort zone and continue to rely upon plain old common sense. I subscribed to eHarmony several years ago and I thought the eHarmony common sense guide to first contact with another was helpful.

Gaining a deeper appreciation for your inner sexuality can make you more comfortable in your skin, as well as more comfortable sharing physical contact (hugs, kissing) - so long as you continue to appreciate the boundaries of others and the longings that may be like pots boiling over on your inner stove, as well as the stoves of others. Many of us out there may be extremely “needy” for intimacy.

Anyone caring to share their stories and experiences may contact me directly. As always, I will maintain confidentiality. Howard@mcq.com