WHAT WE INTEND BECOMES OUR EXPERIENCE

CONVERSATIONS WITH YIN AND YANG

WHAT WE INTEND BECOMES OUR EXPERIENCE

© 2010 Howard McQueen

Our life experiences are paved with intentions.

The infrastructure that fuels our intentions either

enables connection and flow

or

separation and stuckness

YANG finds himself settled into this long-standing groove, one that has him taking unilateral action to navigate much of life. This causes others to often feel cutoff, disconnected and stranded by his lack of inclusiveness.

YANG feels so completely justified in his unilateral acts, so much so he wonders why. As he explores this, what he sees is a certain seduction, a certain safety of keeping his intentions hidden and secret, often even from himself. It seems that waiting until the very last moment to spring the modus operandi, then he is all action and doing.

To be another in relationship with Yang is to never be prepared for what may happen, to always be trying to adjust – to abrupt and sometimes radical shifts in stormy weather.

YANG feels into this and recognizes the inner disappointment, frustration, anger and sadness still lingering from his childhood. He sees himself-as-child caught in the acceptance-refusal ping-pong web spun by his mother and father. The experience, like a wood burning tool, remains as a living, inscribed psychic portrait.

To explicitly ask permission gains an immediate approval from mom, but then mom sends me off to gain the permission of my dad. When I ask my dad, he asks what my mom said and when I say she said yes, he immediately says no. He is told that the refusal is because he asked his mom first.

Better to not even try to seek approvals.

Better to not ever divulge or project your desires.

Just unilaterally take action, at the last possible moment, and let everyone else adapt.

YANG’S evolutionary intention is to inwardly evolve from the reaction energies of his grooved chutzpah, to the responsive, inclusiveness of gusto. The encumbent modus operandi is rooted in chutzpah. It is time to lay this down.

YANG says, I feel safe in this body. This is my reality, and I am safe, I embrace my innocence, my joy and my creativity.

YANG sees and surrounds in compassion, his extremely confused and conflicted inner child. YANG offers up the constancy and unconditional guidance and nurturing that was missing in his childhood.

YANG then turns to YIN and says Dear YIN, I offer you unconditional permission to hold up to the light of awareness my behaviors containing separation and conflict. This hurt within me hurts you, hurts others and short-circuits our field of intimacy.

I AM completely committed to my evolution toward and into gusto. I shall set my intentions to contain the chaos and conflict. I am deconstructing and building the inner infrastructure to bridge to gusto.

The transformation continues to manifest.

Another threshold is crossed.