REBIRTHING: RESURRECTING SELF

© 2009 Howard McQueen

The Human experience can be seen as a cycle, or a series of cycles. To the extent that we become conscious of our cycles (like the seasons) we can honor our connection to ourselves and be in rhythm, rather than in opposition or resistance. Here is a first cut model for the human life cycle, narrowed in scope to a single incarnation.

Consciousness again chooses to inhabit form,
and there is movement towards being born.
The womb of an earth-bound mother is now our home.

We drink in the vibrations, the sensations, deeply imprinting
on the full spectrum of mother’s emotional, mental and physical nutrition.
An amniotic warm sea, tinged with nurturing,
spiked with our mother’s external world drama and experience.
We are pure, wide-open vulnerability.
We are accepting the downloading codification of this life’s deep grooves of destiny.

Then there is birth,
transition to the outer world
we are completely transfixed
we emote in response to this alien world of fluxing energies.

We are, through repetition, encouraged to form sounds,
taught words: our name, ma ma, dada.
Encouragement, reward, hold me close, let me synchronize
with my ma ma – this is such a strange world.

And one day, our parent becomes frightened for our safety.
They share this fear with us and we become afraid.
Or they become triggered by our reckless absorption and joy in the world,
and vent their anger and rage at us.
They, or other circumstances and events, traumatize us.
We experience fear, we shrink, we collapse, we evacuate.
And in this collapsed space, we call upon our mind to “make it all safe”.

Thus begins the contrived birth and manufacturing of the entity
we know as our ego.
In our youthful obsession to avoid fear,
we hand over the reins and
our ego obliges, in acceptance,
with almost a wry, condescending smile,
Ha, caught this one, once again!.
Our authentic power is transferred to the ego,
that gets busy spinning up stories of subterfuge,subversion, diversion and delusion,
and the ego pulls out of its hat,
the fruits of its laboring for us - Viola: custom tailored-to-fit armor,
our own chain mail.

The ego says “leave it all to me, I’ll shape and form appearances to insure your safety."
“Lean into me” says the ego. "I’ll support you where all the adults have failed, betrayed and abandoned,
or deeply misunderstood you."

And then begins the wholesale onslaught of society's Conditioning and Domestication.
The educational institutions pour twelve years of mental facts and antiquated information into the child,
then, for some, graduation and four or more years of additional education.
The sacred rites of passage, well, they were forgotten, passed over.
Then you are twenty-one and proclaimed an Adult,
ready to fit-in, conform, join the machinery, be absorbed by the technology,
aka, rev yourself up and really, by God, "live the Dream".
The government institutions sell the ego a sense of security,
if only you conform to being a good citizen, and wear our brand of pride and nationality.
The religious institutions sell salvation,
if only you conform to their code of conduct, behavior and morality.
The politicans sell democracy and packaged freedom,
If you only buy into their bi-polar two party disorder,
Then they sell packaged fear, turmoil and economic disorder.
And those institutions of free enterprise sell you their capital consumerism
if only you worship the acquisition of material things.
Wealth rents and buys the politicians, who sell you your vote.
Just repeat after me " ..." is the formula for conditioning.

The ego uses all this commotion and expectation as kindling,
and we are now brightly lit up with inauthenticity,
a raging wind-whipped out-of-control bonfire of vanity and insecurity,
completely turned upon itself, swallowing its tail, consuming itself.

All these institutions construe with the ego to lay down templates that encourage "the good life": you marry, have children, be productive, own lots of things and live a life worshiping the cultural gods they bless and consecrate.

And it all kind of fits and works out,
till one day,
things start falling apart,
and your life becomes filled with mounting stress and suffering
and deep inside, you begin to feel that you’ve led yourself astray.
And you gain a glimpse into the truth of your ongoing abandonment and betrayal.

So now, for some, there is the backtracking,
the undoing, the uprooting, the in-light-in-ing,
the unbecoming and letting go of all the false evidence,
the darkness and smoky veil drawn within.
There is the reconnecting to the abused, orphaned inner child,
the dismantling and disempowering of the ego
and its stranglehold.
You awaken to become parent
re-parenting,
learning to be impeccable in giving your child what it has always needed,
No more fantasy or delusional thinking that someone, some institution,
or something external is supposed to fix us or do for us what we must do for ourself.

Now there is a rapid waning of pretence.
Bye bye old dramas,
adios to the manipulations of pleasing others,
to gain their attention to get what YOU want.
And the emotional body
begins to heal from within,
and you become whole-sum and whole, again.

Then comes the rebirth of that which is true and authentic,
and the tides of tears are restored.
There is joy
There is liberation
There is freedom
If at first only for brief moments,
But the taste,
the vibrational feel,
the connection
Is undeniable and the felt-ness is indelible,
triggering the remembering of that which is eternal,
your birthright, your keepsake.

The rest is giving in, surrendering, letting your attention and intention remain true
to what desires to awaken and emerge from within the deeper essence of you.

It is called love, unity, connection, compassion, trust, peace
This is what we really breathe in,
It is this conscious, loving intention that we breath out into this world.
We are stepping up now, in greater numbers, to lead by example.
We are living in our Heart and our language and intentions are born
from the heart.

This Love transforms ALL things.
It is your presence, your present for uncovering and resurrecting your SELF.

***
This is my interpretation of the human condition. We are challenged to fill ourselves to the brim with this world of attachments to things, only to detach and die, to shed our skin, again and again, to all these experiences and connections. Life offers us constant support to accomplish this journey and our conditioning offers up an equally deep well of resistance. This conflict places enormous internal pressure on the human operating system. And, as I see it, the rapidity of change is increasing, as is world-wide economic dysfunction. From my vantage point, these are escalating invitations to connect to the heart and live from the intuitive guidances offered from the heart. Holding on to the old infrastructures of ego-centric striving and living are becoming increasingly toxic, as they manifest separation and obscure unity and community.

- Howard McQueen (Nov-21, 2009)
In some circles this process of re-birthing could, in my humble opinion, be labeled Christ consciousness, Buddha nature, ...