Lucid Quantum Dreaming With the Spirit of Dad

[Subtitled: Rewriting the Human Infrastructure Programming]
© 2009 Howard McQueen

[this has become such a pivotal dream for directing my life - HM 8/2009]

I was dreaming the other night.

I was on a deck, happily saluting and commending a group of fellow comrades. My dad’s name was called and I was doubly enthusiastic to greet and honor him. He did not appear, so I took the stairs down below and found him hard at work.

I said “Dad, we’re missing you upstairs at the celebration. Can you come up and join us?”.

To which he looked up at me with a big smile and said “Son, I am really busy rewriting the infrastructure programming”.

We hugged, deeply … AND I CAME to the surface of awakeness lucidly connected to this dream embrace. In this in-between state, my chest merged with that of my Dad’s and our chest rose and fell with gigantic inhales and exhales. I was enveloped in this gentle energy bubble, with my eyes moist, my body relaxed, maintaining this direct experience - holding back the interruptive nature of rational thought. This merging of me/Dad, of dream-state/awakeness persisted like a very slow wave rolling in from way out in the ocean. A great calm pervaded my entire being.

In this elongated moment, I redeemed the reward for courageously facing the dark shadow that had obscured and troubled both my Dad and me when I was a child. I also believe that the spirit of my Dad experienced redemption.

I innately understand that that my work of years of forgiveness and acceptance of my Dad had carried me up to 95% of the journey, and I was still holding back.

This last 5% was all about total, pure surrender in the Face of Love (FoL). This FoL has us always projecting someone’s face (someone did me wrong, someone could have done better when I was a child and so vulnerable, etc. …). When we relax and release our judgments and then surrender to what was / what is, our internal defensiveness melts and we regain our supple heart, our childlike wonder and openness - we open back up to the miraculous vulnerability of being vibrantly alive. We see ourselves in everyone else, we stop being haunted by projected faces, we begin to heal and we learn to trust a prime directive – living fully in the moment cannot happen until we reclaim a oneness with our fears and defensive/protection beliefs and patterns.

My message and intent
Take it all in. Don’t run from the fear, don’t hoard the love. Keep a lightness of being with yourself and in your relations with those caught up in their dark shadows. With so many active delusions in this world, we who are able to shine the light of Love know our job description – keep carrying on sharing Love and Compassion, allow spaciousness and then step back and just let things be whatever they will be.

Acknowledgements
I’ve had a boatload of support doing this last 5% of work. This exceedingly potent, non-conventional help came directly from the Asheville Loving Communications (LC) community (Fred Keyser and Heidi Fox, founders). Other folks contributed to my quickening: Richard Koerber, Asheville Acupuncturist; Jack Boyd, Asheville Structural Integrator, my long-term Chiropractor in Savannah, Steve Goldberg, Ruth McKinney and my community of Asheville spirit-based warriors (you know “I love you all”). With their encouragement, I faced my own fear-inheritance and saw it for what it is – just passed down shadow energies by birth parents (doing their very best), entrusted to indoctrinate their children into this physical Earth school within the thick cultural conditionings passed down to them.