Identifying with Purgatory

(C) 2011 Howard McQueen

Some memories, when accessed,

bring with them sensations of anxiety.

When we have spent extended periods of time in these valleys of anxiety,

we forget how acclimated and infused we became,

how we held on to this environment,

as if it held a sense of our true (dark) identity.

While in these valleys, the mind frantically struggles,

generating stress, until, often

we feel and perceive ourselves as diminished, dysfunctional and ... defective.

This obsessive self-judgment gens up a personal purgatory.

Back in this ever-present moment, we encounter experiences that the mind has a tendency to consider associations with its experiences - and then, wanting to be useful, fetch fragments from its stored purgatory.

Now, do we believe in what the mind fetches, or do we believe in what is unfolding in the here and now?

By choosing to abide in the presence of the here and now, we offer ourselves the freedom to release the mind from any responsibility for shaping/influencing our identity.