Asheville Sangha

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Howard McQueen's Blog – September 2009 Archive (54)

INNER GROWTH & WHOLENESS

(c) 2009 Howard McQueen



Inner growth and healing

often follow a non-linear progression.

Facing self

provokes Grace

offering up the miracles

of gifts of insight

provoking further,

greater acts and leaps-of-faith.



There are rewards for those willing to live

in their unknowing,

feeling into the much greater wholeness.



Knowing that crisis brings forth

Necessity, the mother of inventive imagination,

detaching you… Continue

Added by Howard McQueen on September 30, 2009 at 12:30pm — No Comments

THE VENOM IN POLITICAL ANALYSIS

(c) 2009 Howard McQueen



Do not fail to underestimate

the venomous lethargy

broadcast within the content of political analysis.

You are consuming a dark, brooding

wrapped in sophistication-tinged cynicism,

a cesspool of streaming, steaming defeatism.



This you willfully take and make

into a complete mockery of Love.



Are you not yet able to see

that you are suckling

on the teat of shock

bringing out the… Continue

Added by Howard McQueen on September 30, 2009 at 12:00pm — 1 Comment

MASCULINE RAW SEXUAL LUST

© 2009 Howard McQueen



I am not speaking to the lighter,

delightful imaginative play with fantasy here.



I lend voice to the darker side of lust

that stimulates and provokes deep distrust.

The feelings of an impending,

imminent sense of forthcoming violation.

the sense of a stalking, dreadful danger.



There is clear brutality

contained and conveyed in the X-ray vision of lust.

One is left deeply unsettled by having

one’s… Continue

Added by Howard McQueen on September 30, 2009 at 10:30am — No Comments

TRANSCENDING IS IN THE ACCEPTING

Hello Dear Ones,



This is a follow-up to a previous posting, so follow this link back to the original source, and then return to that which is most current.



*** *** ***



This concept of transcending I am revisiting and revising

reminds me be be vigilant of anything escapist.



By that, I mean that the work is to see

all of human behavior

in… Continue

Added by Howard McQueen on September 30, 2009 at 8:30am — No Comments

EXTENDING FAMILY

(c) 2009 Howard McQueen



You all are my extended family

we root for each other

through all the difficulties.

We bring to our sacred gatherings

an expanding ability to be present

and to share our felt sense of SOLIDARITY.



Extending Family

I am born into biological family

my work on this earth: redefine and extend family

We are Fam-i-ly



A practiced way of being together

to explore and learn about depth of… Continue

Added by Howard McQueen on September 29, 2009 at 9:30pm — No Comments

ELECTING THE EXQUISITE!

(c) 2009 Howard McQueen



Hey, look at me.

I've been doing the "best of"

what dis-empowered people do.



Shrunken, constricted, disconnected, withdrawn

an incapacitating mistrust

of self.



So, I'm playing things

close-to-the-vest

ever-so-safe

wallowing onward

in the shadows

amidst the echoes

old habits that interrupt and infiltrate

my authenticity.



And here I am again

collapsing again

into my… Continue

Added by Howard McQueen on September 29, 2009 at 9:00pm — No Comments

THE ANESTHETIC IV OF OLD FUN

(c) 2009 Howard McQueen



Way back when in my life

I remember these novel experiences.

They were full of exploration, newness,

exhilaration and fun.



These experiences, spooled forward,

taken up again as habit,

then over attended to and abused

no longer yield their former fun.

Instead what is created is grim persistent diminishment.



If I see myself as an ocean going vessel,

I've sprung leaks under the water… Continue

Added by Howard McQueen on September 29, 2009 at 9:00pm — No Comments

COMPLETELY SPECULATIVE ILLUSION

(C) 2009 Howard McQueen

I wonder how I might appear
in my minds expectation
of what someone else
might be thinking about me.

Mirror mirror on the wall
Show me a picture, any channel at all.

I'm not just small,
I've evaporated
Turned the mental
disintegrator ray gun
upon myself
and scattered myself
amongst the mists-of-illusion.

~ ~ ~

Added by Howard McQueen on September 29, 2009 at 8:56pm — No Comments

BLESSINGS FOR THE WHOLENESS OF HUMANITY

(C) 2009 Howard McQueen

In speaking this Potential in you,
you up-the-ante
for everyone else.

In embodying this Potential in you,
you bring into the visible spectrum,
vital life-giving energy for the whole Human Family.

Blessed be your arriving ...

~ ~ ~

Added by Howard McQueen on September 29, 2009 at 8:30pm — No Comments

FILL UP THE BACKBONE, PLEASE

(C) 2009 Howard McQueen



So, you see yourself as just the minor character

in this meta-dance.

Place your attention right [... ~ HERE ~ ...] to accept the Witnessing Role,

the powerful 360 degree vision.

See the red-eyed, angry,

in-heat male water buffalo,

singling you out,

to step out

of the mainstream,

the numbing,

behave-yourself

regime of beliefs.

Join the resistance,

give yourself to the revolution… Continue

Added by Howard McQueen on September 29, 2009 at 8:30pm — No Comments

HANG ME FROM MY MAYBES

(c) 2009 Howard McQueen

Am I desirable or worthy enough?
I cannot resolve an explicit "Yes".
I suddenly feel the hot streak of need,
all stuck and splayed out on the Fence-of-Maybe.
Someone please indicate, even donate a "Yes",
to pull me out of my unknowing misery.

~ ~ ~

Added by Howard McQueen on September 29, 2009 at 8:30pm — No Comments

A LOVE OF LIFE NAMED SERENITY

(C) 2009 Howard McQueen

Being in this world
Lessening the projection
of our past pain and suffering

***

Go tell it to the mountain
Go wash yourself in its stream
Let all your worries drop beside you

May you find your stride in solitude
and a love in life named Serenity.

Added by Howard McQueen on September 29, 2009 at 2:30pm — No Comments

REJECTION

(C) 2009 Howard McQueen



Do we really have any control what-so-ever

in what we convey in word and intent

when it lands on another?



You can plant the sweetest of kiss

on the walking dead

and in that moment

they will not stir.



You can put your arm around

someone just gazing at you.

And should they not be ready,

be offered a healthy dose of rejection.



You can write yourself and another

into some future… Continue

Added by Howard McQueen on September 29, 2009 at 9:30am — No Comments

SLIP-SLIDING AWAY

(C) 2009 Howard McQueen



My shadow energy

is needing to feed

on someone else's

energetic image of me.



Will I be able

to hold my integrity?

or

will I succumb again

to constructing my life

on this ever-slippery

muddled slope.



I close my eyes

and gently succumb to

slip-sliding back into

the black pit of misery.





~ ~ ~

Misery and despair, two companion energies that arise and intertwine… Continue

Added by Howard McQueen on September 29, 2009 at 9:19am — No Comments

JEALOUSY & INSATABLE APPETITES

(Draft version 1.0)

(C) 2009 Howard McQueen



An insatiable appetite for what someone else seems to have.

Lack of generosity held in the prison of the inner me.

Shame, blame, victim, accusation.

We give such power to jealousy

the ultimate obsessiveness,

played out over-and-over again.



The animal-istic nature of the human Operating System,

thinking it must have that which is outside,

to nourish and fill-in the voiding sense of… Continue

Added by Howard McQueen on September 29, 2009 at 12:00am — No Comments

OVER DOSING APPRECIATION

(Day One in uptown Sedona)

© 2009 Howard McQueen



I am staying this week in Sedona, AZ, in a private house, in my own guest suite.

This is an incredibly sweet setup and at half the price of the cheapest hotel in or around town, I feel blessed.



As I begin this my first morning here, I have just entered the kitchen and bumped into the owner and my host, Ms. M. We talked just a bit and then she rummaged for a moment to respond to my request to link into the house… Continue

Added by Howard McQueen on September 28, 2009 at 10:30pm — No Comments

TRACKING THE ELUSIVE, NON LINEAR SELF

(c) 2009 Howard McQueen



Follow the tracks of truth

up to, then follow them into the rabbit hole,

the non-linear place

where your footprints in the sand are erased



And off we go,

trekking into the mind's constructs

made blind and oblivious by our smoke screen

our crud burning as a crude torch oil,

illuminating our walls,

inscribed with drawings, symbols and petroglyphs,

depicting our stories of suffering in… Continue

Added by Howard McQueen on September 28, 2009 at 5:30pm — No Comments

GAZING INTO IMPLIED POSSIBILITIES

(ongoing oozing from Sedona)

(c) 2009 Howard McQueen



I gaze into your eyes

and my worldly desires

flicker alive in the firelight,

and my shadow doth hide no more.



The implied possibilities

the unfolding of the new and unknown,

a new place, perhaps fragile and fertile enough

for some manifestation of Love to root.



In this sacred spaciousness

we summon the wisdom

to rest patiently

feeling deeply into our… Continue

Added by Howard McQueen on September 28, 2009 at 5:00pm — No Comments

WINGED LOVE STORIES

(C) 2009 Howard McQueen



There are so many love stories

in the queue

readied for awakening this world.



Prepare yourself!

Love in new and unexpected combinations,

true to your deepest imagination,

Like a building storm front

is headin' your way.



Love could be manifest big as a freight train,

or veiled in the subtlety of rejection

and a push-back,

needing to be setup in the truth

of the cleaning-it-all-up… Continue

Added by Howard McQueen on September 28, 2009 at 5:00pm — No Comments

SPOTLIGHT OF AWARENESS ON THE ME

(the gurgling conversation with Well in Sedona, AZ)

(C) 2009 Howard McQueen



... Me first

Look at Me

Poor me



ya de ya de yaaa daaaa ...





Everything comprising this "me"

is so fleeting, so very temp-o-rar-Y



The yen and yang of internalized contraries:

- coming and going

- winning and losing

- gaining and giving up

- stockpiling and seeing forms blight and rot

- ...



So many invitations to lay… Continue

Added by Howard McQueen on September 28, 2009 at 12:30pm — 1 Comment

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