Supporting Non-Duality and Awakening in Asheville and Beyond
Greetings all! I'm thrilled to be a part of the community and appreciate your patience as I learn norms and what all is already available (so please forgive me if I engage in a way that is out of place or begin by asking questions that have been answered in detail elsewhere).
An inquiry that I'm particularly interested to connect with others on or learn more about is an experience I had two nights ago (which prompted me to join this community after months/years of dragging my feet). I was in a fairly deep meditation after a few bouts of what I call "running down the staircase"* when I started laughing because I realized that there was a very subtle part of the mind still hanging on that I'd call the "rememberer." It seems to think its job is to keep track of all that is being witnessed so that it can be written about or told to someone (usually me) later. As that element was just about to be cast away, a sudden realization came forward that if I do that, I will have to trust that I can come back from stepping away from that which remembers. In other words, if I'm about to step across a transom (that may very well be illusory) that I may not remember because the part of the mind that remembers lets go, will I remember to come back from that transom and feed the cats? Or, more concerningly, can I?
I started walking down the staircase after that thinking to myself: this is probably the area in which it may be helpful to understand whether this is a Known Thing and if there is guidance that would be helpful to have encountered before crossing that transom (at least a gentle "don't worry, keep going" (or at the very least not a "dear heavens no DON'T DO THAT")). I realized I hadn't set a timer, so next time, that seems advisable to do.
*An analogy of my experience of deeper meditations has been one of climbing a spiral staircase lined with treasures. I often come across some great insight and am so excited to capture it that I grab a hold of the treasure and run back down the staircase so that I can have it (usually by writing it down). This analogy is, as I view it at least, one such helpful treasure that I grabbed and ran back down the staircase. I have been embarking on a more intentional Samatha practice which has helped lessen the pull/distraction of those treasures when there are still many more steps to climb.
I hear what you're saying. I've been a writer for about 14 years and have seen that tendency to want to capture insights that arise so they can be recorded and shared with "others". In a sense, it's the mind's way of justifying its own existence. In recent years I've grown to see that these insights aren't "mine" and don't need to be captured and shared. If they need to be, they will. Letting go of thoughts, even seemingly significant insights and realizations, seems to foster resting in aware stillness...
The best of my understanding, there is nowhere to go or come from because we are already there. As the observer of self, its still a duality. The ego needs to understand, especially to help others, that's the sweetest bait. I bit lol...
I'm becoming aware of this awareness that exists independent of form, yet abiding in form.
Don't take my word for it though, I'm just waking up myself.
I like the staircase. It is still a mental trap, there will always be more levels. I say trap because it is keeping your mind away from here and now, clinging to... some need or desire to do something so we can get or achieve some improvement.. Go back to breathe, love the breath, lol.. We are exactly where and what we are supposed to be.. Everything is perfect, even if perfect isn't perfect that is perfect.